The Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart
Three boys in the schoolyard were bragging about who had the better father. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him $100.” The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him $1000.” The third boy says, “My Dad is ever better than that. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes (6 or 8) men just to collect all the money!”
THE DEFINITION OF BARBECUING
It’s the only type of cooking a "real man" will do. When a man volunteers to do
the ’BBQ’ the following chain of events is put into motion:
1) The woman goes to the store.
2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the
necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the
grill.
4) The man places the meat on the grill.
5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10) Everyone praises the man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her
annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.
“Four Pillars of Man’s Heart” Stu Weber
1) KING PILLAR
Genesis 2:15 – God gave the privilege of leadership to Adam, the man, but with that privilege comes the responsibility to keep it in balance.
Bring the king into balance.
On one extreme, we have men who are abdicators. They don’t want the responsibility of taking the lead as God has commanded them to.
On the other extreme, we have men who go overboard in their responsibility to take charge. These are the men who always want control. Tyrants. It happens in the work place. It happens in the home.
This portion of the man’s heart is what provides VISION. It’s the portion of a man’s heart that tells him that he needs TO PROVIDE.
It’s not bossing, it’s serving. It’s not demanding, it’s caring
It’s not strutting, it’s stooping. It’s not leisure, it’s labor
It’s not a gold watch, it’s a rugged cross.
Someone once said, “Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by fear of punishment and the other by the art of love. Power based on love is thousand times more effective and permanent.”
David knew how to bring this pillar into balance. 2 Samuel 8:15 says, “David reigned over all Israel, doing what was just and right for all his people.”
The General’s Prayer: by General Douglas MacArthur
"Build me a son, oh Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and
brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and
unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son
whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be; a son who will know
Thee, and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I
pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of
difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up to the storm; here
let him learn compassion for those who fail. Build me a son whose heart will be
clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to
master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one
who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. And after all these
things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor so that he may always be
serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he may
always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom,
the meekness of true strength.
Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, `I have not lived in vain.'"
Marty Wilkins wrote the following words:
Today’s kids desperately need Dads who:
. . . play catch, enjoy tea parties or wrestle because the heart of a child is
there and they set out to capture it.
. . . laugh till their belly hurts and tears fall from their eyes while secretly
creating deep friendships and memories that last a lifetime.
. . . place an out of tune preschool concert or a ten-year-old’s baseball game
on life’s agenda because of the infinite worth of those playing.
. . . love at all times, because live is a gift freely given and not a reward
for service well done.
. . . listen eye to eye and with both ears even if it means getting on one knee.
. . . admit when they are wrong and work to make things right.
. . . hear about those in need and say, "Let’s do something to help right now!"
and set off an uncontrollable wildfire of generosity and kindness.
. . . give the credit to others and empower those they touch to succeed in all
that they do.
. . . model love as action, commitment, and truth even when it hurts because
they believe God can work miracles in even the hardest heart.
. . . love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind and know that the rest
is just details.
Pastor and Author John Piper speaks to men and describes some qualities of a spiritual leader.
- he takes responsibility to initiate.
- he serves and makes sacrifices
- he points others to Christ.
- he expresses himself romantically.
- he knows that leadership often requires humility and repentance.
2) WARRIOR PILLAR
Genesis 2:17 – Because women are referred to as the weaker vessel, by default, men are to be the stronger vessel.
Bring the king into balance.
On one extreme, we have men who are cowards. They don’t want to face up to the responsibilities of being a real man
But God has called men to be warriors – spiritual warriors. God is calling we men to get on our knees and fight like a man.
On the other extreme, we have men who go overboard and they become brutes and bullies. They try to use force and intimidation to get their way. That’s not what God intended.
The Godly warrior does not take advantage of his strength or position with threats on people. The Godly warrior knows who the enemy is – the devil himself – and he will face up to him and defeat him in the Name of Jesus!
By nature, many men have a competitive spirit. And that’s alright, if that energy is directed against the devil, and not people.
This portion of the man’s heart is what provides STRENGTH. It’s the portion of a man’s heart that tells him that he needs TO PROTECT.
Kids often tell their buddies, “My dad’s bigger than your dad. My dad is stronger than your dad.”
David knew how to bring this pillar into balance.
2 Samuel 21:15 says, “Once again there was a battle between the Philistines and Israel. David went down with his men to fight against the philistines, and he became exhausted.”
3) MENTOR PILLAR
Genesis 2:16-17 – God gave the responsibility to be a positive influence on those whom we touch.
Bring the king into balance. On one extreme, we have men who are dunces. I don’t mean that to be dumb. I mean that to say that there are men who have no desire to learn. They are too lazy to pick up the Word of God and take their spiritual life to a whole new level. Because – when it comes to spiritual leadership - a man cannot take his family where he hasn’t been himself.
On the other extreme, we have men who go overboard and are “know it alls.” This turns off people. It turns off the family, etc.
This portion of the man’s heart is what provides WISDOM. Wisdom brings knowledge into balance. It’s the portion of a man’s heart that tells him that he needs TO TEACH.
David knew how to bring this pillar into balance. 2 Samuel 23 lists the names of David’s Mighty Men. Those who came under David’s wing to learn how to be warriors. And who would carry on the faith of the Lord Jehovah.
To those of you who are dads, whether you realize it or not, you are a mentor and teacher to your children. You are either being a positive influence or a negative influence. Some dads teach by taking the time to sit down and share their heart with their children. All dads, teach by example, only for some it’s a negative thing, not a positive one.
One fourth grade teacher was handing back a homework paper to little Johnny, when she said, “Johnny, you made so many mistakes on your homework. This is the worst paper in the class. It’s hard for me to believe that one individual can make so many mistakes on this assignment.” Johnny responded by saying, “But teacher, it wasn’t just me. My dad did half the work!”
4) FRIEND PILLAR
Genesis 2:18 – God gave the man a woman. It’s not good for a man to be alone.
This is a difficult pillar for most men. It’s easy for women to connect. Women are more verbal. They love to talk.
Have you noticed the conversations that men have? “How about them Spurs?” “How has work been?”
(And even if work is going terrible, wee respond, “Oh, everything’s fine, how about you?”) We certainly don’t want to admit to another man that things are not going well.
Most men have a hard time approaching another man saying, “Hey, can you pray with me. I’m really having a hard time. Things are not going well on the homefront, and I need someone to talk to.”
Bring the king into balance. On one extreme, we have men who are loners. They don’t want the responsibility of taking the lead as God has commanded them to. On the other extreme, we have men who are smotherers. They don’t allow those around them to have space. These are the husbands who are overly possessive with their wife. A man who has this pillar adequately balanced is one who can say, “Honey, why don’t you relax right now? I want to hear about your day. I will do the dishes for you later on.”
This portion of the man’s heart is what provides LOVE. It’s the portion of a man’s heart that tells him that he needs TO CONNECT.
David knew how to bring this pillar into balance. 1 Samuel 20:42 says, “Jonathan said to David, Go in peace for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord saying the Lord is my witness between you and me.”
Meekness. Many people don’t understand the concept of meekness. Some think that meekness is weakness. No, it is not. Far from it. Jesus was meek. We are called to be meek. The best and most concise definition of meekness that I have found is simply: STRENGTH UNDER CONTROL.
Men, we are called to be a king. But not a just any king, a servant-king.
We are called to be a Warrior, a tender warrior.
We are called to be mentor, a wise mentor
And we are called to be a friend, a faithful friend.