Beautiful – Inside and Out

At an early age, during my elementary school years, I experienced rejection from my classmates because of my looks. I used to wear very thick prescribed glasses and had what is called “lazy eye.” Kids at school used to call me all kinds of names like four-eyes and crossed-eyes. I remember feeling ugly, sad, worthless, and lonely.

    At home, the situation was not any better for me, because my parents were constantly fighting. My mother was abused by my father verbally, emotionally and mentally, pretty much every day. This abuse made my mom a very insecure woman, with low self-esteem, depression, angriness and bitterness.

   My brothers, my sister and I grew up thinking that abusing others or being abused was okay.  As time went by, the abuse became a pattern in our family. My brothers, my sister and I started abusing each other, because that was the only way we had learned how to cope with our frustration, anger and loneliness.

    My first year of marriage was a very difficult one for me, because, not only did I face the challenge of a different culture, learning a second language, and being far away from my family, but I started being verbally, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually abused by my husband.

   Staying married in this abusive relationship for a long time brought consequences to my life: I started experiencing depression, low self-esteem, insecurity, anger, fear, loneliness, co-dependency, and more. Year after year, I kept telling myself, if only you try harder and learn how to become a better wife, you’ll be able to “fix” your marriage. 

   I didn’t want to tell anybody about my situation. Neither did I want to ask for help, because it was a shameful and fearful situation. Not only that, but many times women like me who come from a Hispanic background, tolerate domestic abuse because our culture teaches us that way. My situation only got worse as years went by. One day, I just couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when I finally cried out to the Lord for help, I surrendered and admitted to Him that I was powerless to control my circumstances.

   I then ran to my “Fortress.” I came here, to my family “Fortress Church,” and for the first time in many, many years, I felt secure. It was then that I decided to re-commit my life and will to Jesus, and I praise God for that!

    Today, I’m here to tell you that God doesn’t want us in bondage. God doesn’t want us to live a life of abuse. The Lord set me free and gave me the courage, wisdom and strength to break the chains of abuse, chains that I was carrying with me ever since I was in my mother’s womb. The Lord can do the same for you!

   I have been blessed with beautiful daughters and today I tell the devil IT’S OVER!! No more abuse in this family. My girls and future generations will not experience abuse, because I have decided to put an end to it once and for all with the authority that the Lord has given me. Abuse will no longer be a pattern in this family.

   Today, I give thanks to the Lord with gratitude for the lessons I learned in how to thirst for Him, how to trust in Him, and how to be humble before Him. I now feel joy and peace in my heart. I feel worthy, strong and secure. I believe in myself again and I feel BEAUTIFUL on the inside and the outside. And, that’s how you should feel: BEAUTIFUL, because that’s the way our Lord created us. Don’t allow the enemy to tell you any differently.

Laura

To submit your testimony . . .  email us at office@fortresschurch.org