I am a Cancer Warrior!
As believers, we know that the cornerstone of our faith is focus on Jesus Christ. Yet many of us find ourselves enormously busy with life and burning the candle at both ends; leaving little time to build an intimate relationship with the Lord. This was my story. Until THE DAY, the day I was diagnosed with cancer. In a split second, my life was changed forever.
In the mind of most people cancer is synonymous with death. A couple of months prior to my diagnosis, I had lost a 37-year-old cousin to breast cancer; leaving behind a young family. My dad, a sister and I were all diagnosed with cancer and went through treatment simultaneously. My younger sister was diagnosed last year. Several years after our diagnosis, we lost our only surviving paternal uncle and aunt to cancer. Shortly after my uncle’s death, his 12-year-old granddaughter died of a brain tumor, and then another cousin perished from colon cancer. Cancer has ravaged our family.
I couldn’t breathe as I held the phone. I am sure my doctor said more, but all I could focus on was that first sentence, “I have your test results, and you have a little breast cancer.” There is no such thing as a little cancer, as I soon found out when the tumor doubled in size by the time I had surgery. I felt vulnerable, anxious, fearful, shocked, sad, and betrayed by my body. The world around me just seemed to turn more slowly. I could not believe this was happening to me!
Family and friends called, but I was too numb to absorb any well wishes, although I did feel a peace and comfort when I was asked if I would like prayer and the individual would commence to pray out loud. I was invited to some healing prayer services and heard things like, “Why are you having chemotherapy? Don’t you trust in the Lord to heal you? The Lord meets you where your faith is. There must be some sin blocking your healing. Have you confessed all your sins? Maybe you are not praying right, or hard enough. Don’t claim your cancer, I just know you will be healed. My relative had breast enhancement surgery, she did okay.” I knew they were all well-meaning, and I understood that, unless you face mortality, you cannot understand what it feels like. After hearing all of that, I wanted to shut everyone out and just hear from the Lord. What I truly longed for was a faithful, Christ-centered cancer support group. I made a couple of calls to local cancer support groups, but did not feel led to any one of them.
I decided to make a concerted effort to seek the closest relationship possible with Jesus. He had suffered and died for my sins. He understood my pain and knew everything about me before I even voiced it in prayer. So I immersed myself in scripture, I prayed, read scripture every free moment of the day and night, and taped scripture to my walls. I listened to audio Healing Scriptures, carried them in my purse, read them while chemo was being fed through my veins, read them on my walks and took them with me everywhere I went. I had given God priority in my life. I worked my day around Him and found that I still had time to accomplish all that was necessary. My total focus was on God. He strengthened me and lifted me from despair, and reminded me that I am not alone. His grace, comfort, and love sustained me. In my weakness, His strength was made perfect.
The day before the surgery, my amazing husband, Mike, and daughter, Jennifer, came and prayed and read the Bible to me. They were so supportive, a tower of strength. I was so calm I rejected any kind of medication for sleep or nerves. God’s grace was sufficient.
The nine-hour surgery resulted in a frozen shoulder. Later, the other shoulder froze up and my arms were literally glued to my side. I went through chemo and all its physical effects. There were days of sadness and frustration. It is normal for those with a diagnosis to think that every little twitch or twinge that is felt must be the cancer. I do not fight these feelings alone, I have a mighty warrior on my side and His grace ignites in me a supernatural power of strength and confidence.
I am so blessed to have the best husband in the whole world. He took such good care of me and worked very hard every night to manipulate my shoulder and help me regain complete mobility. It took about two years to be able to raise my arms in praise to the Lord. Every time I raise my arms in worship during hymns of praise, I am reminded of how much the Lord brought me through and I fight back tears. It is because of Jesus’ great sacrifice that I am healed.
My daughter was God’s blessing as well. She insisted on being with me for each chemo treatment. She made me laugh and told me stories about her youth to keep my mind off the chemo. I could have done without some of those stories!! Even my little granddaughter, Hannah, was instrumental in lifting my spirits. She was two years old then. One special moment is forever etched in my memory. While I was changing her diaper, she grabbed the scarf off my head. I could see the shocked look in her eyes when she saw my bald head. She lifted her little hand to her head, yanked a few hairs and said, “Here, put on.” I laughed till I cried.
In spite of the way I looked and felt physically, spiritually the Lord encouraged me to fight. I knew the chemo was for a season and the scars from the surgery would some day heal. There were days when I wondered if I would ever be able to raise my arms again. I celebrated the little victories every day by marking them on a door with a pencil; ¼ inch progress was a celebration. He gave me a confidence not to give up. I came out with the greatest sense of intimacy with Jesus. He will only allow what He knows I can tolerate and He is with me every step of the way.
The Lord instilled in me an intense awareness of the importance of taking care of my body which houses His spirit. I do the natural and He does the supernatural. I could not continue to do the same things and expect different results. Recurrences are very scary and very real. How many times I had observed people resume an unhealthy toxic lifestyle, yet expect healing. There are no guarantees that I will not have a recurrence, but the confidence I have is in knowing that I am doing everything possible to prevent it and I firmly believe it is pleasing to the Lord. He wants us healthy! I embarked on a mission to study everything I could about prevention. To nourish and care for our body is to be respectful of God’s dwelling place. If Jesus came to visit, how would I prepare my physical house? How much more importance should I place on my spiritual dwelling? I felt ashamed that I had neglected God’s dwelling place and was oblivious to its significance.
Why did I question “why me?” Wasn’t I the one making the choices that ultimately harmed my immune system? I gained an appreciation for taking care of His Temple. I Corinthians 6:19-20 says “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? You were bought with a price; therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s.” This scripture now has more meaning to me.
I have learned that there are many steps we should all take for cancer prevention. A healthy diet, exercise, proper sleep, stress management, smoking cessation, moderations of habits, detoxification, an awareness of our environment, and getting rid of the toxic chemicals in our home from household cleaning products to personal care products.
We all have a potential cancer lying dormant in us. What stands between us and cancer is our immune system. Mutations in the DNA of any of our 100 trillion cells occur constantly in all of us, and new cancer cells are a common occurrence even in young adults. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. God gave us this miraculous immune system to protect our body from invaders. The problem is we do not equip it or take care of it. It is like an army without weapons. Instead of empowering it, we sabotage it and then expect it to protect us!
Disease is a deficiency of nutrients and a toxicity of our cells. God gave us nutritious food, but I chose to eat the dead manmade food. The things I ate for the majority of my life would not support health. I chose to please myself with the pleasures of unhealthy food, such as a donut and Big Red for breakfast! I drank soda pops instead of water!
After my healing, I committed to not exist for myself, but rather live for Jesus. If I do that, I will embrace the things that protect His temple and refuse those things that seek to destroy it. My body is my gift from God, what I do with it is my gift to Him.
I don’t call myself a cancer survivor. A survivor by definition is someone who continues to live or exist in spite of …. I am a cancer warrior. I do not try to fight on my own strength, for if I do I know that I will fail. God Himself dwells in me and I can call on Him to help me and strengthen me in my time of need.
Like so many others who have gone through a diagnosis, I birthed a passion to make a difference. To comfort those in need with the comfort I received. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
Last year, I visited Celebrate Recovery at Fortress Church with the thought that we would take a friend because she needed it and I would only attend a few times to be supportive. I have been there a year! In CR, the Lord exposed those things that I had denied. I had stuffed all my emotions in a bag and did not realize in the process how heavy it was getting. Digging through that bag was extremely painful. I had to revisit unhealthy emotions. The good part is that, once I confessed the denial, I gave it to the Lord and emptied the bag. In exchange, He gave me peace and serenity. I have learned so much about myself and it is an incredible spiritual experience. My group leader, Anna Rose, has a caring spirit and leads us in truth. We have built strong friendships in Christ that will live forever. I love our group.
When Abby Garza, CR leader, asked if I would facilitate a group, my first thought was to decline. After further discussion, a new ministry was formed, that of Disease Afflicted Warriors in Numbers - Celebrate Recovery, DA WIN. I’ve been ministering one-on-one to the afflicted and feel comfortable, but a group!!! I have shed many tears for each person to whom I ministered. Would I be strong enough for a group? I told Abby I cannot even give my testimony without shedding a bucketful of tears. If you know Abby, you know her response, “God will equip you. You do not do it on your own. He does not fail and He will use your pain and suffering. It will not be wasted.” Abby is a wonderful and insightful leader. We are so blessed to have her. Every one of her lessons is filled with truth and revelation.
As I yield my entire being to God and abide in Christ, He has conformed my thoughts to His will and purpose. God has a valuable role for everyone committed to doing His work. I want to fulfill that role for I know He will equip, lead, and guide me in this new ministry. Whatever is for His glory is worth doing.
Marty Saffell
To submit your testimony . . . email us at office@fortresschurch.org