Overcoming Abandonment, Depression and Divorce

I grew up in a home where my dad was a Jehovah’s Witness and my mom was a Catholic. I remember that, during the week, my dad would make me read the Jehovah’s Witness Bible. Then, on Sundays, my mom would send me to the Catholic Church, where I was to light candles to the saints. This was very difficult to endure, especially during the Christmas season.

   At 18 years of age, I got married. The marriage lasted 20 years and I have three wonderful sons. My husband was a very controlling man. He would always let me know that I would never amount to much, since I was from a poor neighborhood and low income. He stated that he was much smarter than me, because he attended a Northside school and had much more education.

   I will never forget that after the divorce, he said, “By the way, I found out that you were adopted; I kept it to myself after your parents died.” He handed me some papers and all I could focus on was  . . .  female: born 10-07-54 Name: Carmela Valdez. This document stated that I was adopted.

   I was 39 years old and had many questions. Who am I? Where was I born? Who was my mom? My parents were deceased and I had no brothers or sisters.

   The divorce was a mess. He would always threaten that he would tell my sons a totally fabricated story of what happened during those 20 years. All I would ever say to my sons was, “One day, when you become a man with your own family, you will come to understand a lot of things.” Praise God, this has come to pass.

   I drifted in the “world” for seven years with uncontrollable partying, drinking, and dating too many men that I don’t even remember. There was so much of which I am not proud. I spiraled into depression with thoughts of suicide. It took a toll on my job and my body. When I was very ill and ended up hospitalized for dehydration, the doctor told me that I was clinically depressed. I had never heard of such a thing. I remember asking God what was going to happen to me. “Please Lord, I don’t want to live like this anymore. Help me!”

   One April evening at a large city event, I was approached by a man. He asked me if I was Delia Garza from high school. I had not seen this person in more than 25 years. Fast forward to 1998 when we were engaged to be married. By then, we were both born again and baptized in water. When my sons noticed that was an entirely different person, they wanted to know what had happened to their mom. They thought that I had been brainwashed and was in a cult. They started to read the Bible and then, all three came to the Lord.

   I’m not going to say that everything is great. I still struggle at times with depression, but, with the love of our Lord Jesus Christ and the loving support of my husband, every day is a beautiful day. I am now able to talk about the sexual abuse I endured as a child at the hands of a relative (I never told my parents). I can speak to other women about self-esteem, depression and divorce. I am strong enough to talk about letting go of the anger and pain and, above all, to forgive.

  God is good! I now know that He has a purpose for me. He sent an angel to protect me when I was a newborn infant abandoned by her mother. He has made me a strong woman of God and more than a conqueror!!

Delia